Personal Growth

When I started this journey, I kept hearing from various folks that you experience a ton of personal growth working for R + F.  I heard it but didn’t really think much about it.  I was more focused on my “to do” list for growing the business.

 

Fast forward six months.  

This past week, I had the opportunity to attend a corporate event in Chicago with our top earner. The event was packed and I mean packed, standing room only!

 

Thankfully Mike was home (he travels a ton during baseball season) to look after the repairs from the tree falling on our roof so Charlee was covered.  It may seem basic, and on the surface it is, but throw in travel, corporate schedules, a baby that refuses to take a bottle, drive time to Chicago and back, etc and it was complicated.  However, we did it.  So, I didn’t really think much about anything other than all the logistics of getting to the event until I got there.  

Oh boy, did the fear set in the minute I pulled up.  Holy crap, I am at a HUGE event, by myself, in a HUGE city (which means where all the beautiful people are and I am a mess after motherhood), and I am supposed to network?!?!  Networking was difficult for me at my best (pre motherhood).  Post motherhood has complicated things immensely.  If you are a mom you know exactly what I am talking about.  None of your cute clothes that you used to wear fit, your hair is crazy, you have bags under your eyes the size of your fist, any piece of style that you once had is LONG gone, and frumpy is the highest compliment you can possibly give yourself at the moment.  

Honestly, I don’t like to network.  It scares the heck out of me.  I am super shy by nature, and have been fighting this my entire life.  I'm very comfortable with people I know, have been blessed beyond belief with great friends, BUT networking is very different from interacting with friends --- at least it is to me.  So, I sucked it up and walked in and was not just out of my comfort zone, but I was really, really, really out of my comfort zone.

 

I struggled the entire night.  So much so I convinced myself to leave after the presentation and I missed the training.  I knew I would regret it because I was having one of those internal conversations with myself before I left.  It went something like:

“You should leave, the training is going to be stuff you’ve heard a million times and you are exhausted."

 

"No, I bet it will be good and you always learn something new no matter how many times you hear it.  You didn’t get the new consulting training so you really should absorb it."

 

"Yeah but you have a long drive and you are super uncomfortable with all these people you don’t know.  Look at yourself (there was a mirror that I got a glimpse of myself in and it was frightening compared to all the perfectly coiffed people in the room)."  

 

That visual was the final straw that pushed me over the edge; I bolted from the room and never looked back.

The entire drive home I processed what the heck happened.  It is true that I was tired, had a long drive, was worrying about Charlee, was hungry because in all the madness to get to the event I forgot to eat, etc.  But all of those issues weren't REALLY the "issue".  If I was being honest with myself, the issue is I'm truly uncomfortable networking.  Oh boy, this is going to be interesting since this is network marketing.  

I learned that I need to really prep and push myself prior to network type settings.  I need to figure out how to grow and become better.  I read this week that a good tactic to use is to make sure you have a job to do at an events.  A job will force you to stay the entire time and will help you get over your fear and anxiety because you are focused on your task vs focused on networking.  I really could have benefited from thinking through that prior to the event and making sure I had a job --- lesson learned.  I also do much better if I go with somebody or meet somebody there --- another lesson learned.

 

When I was a kid, I was so shy I literally was afraid of my own shadow.  Life brought me to Estelle Amador, an amazing woman that pushed me and helped me come out of my shell.  She used to force me (and I use the word force because if it were up to me there is no way, I would have done it)  to walk in a room and go to every adult and introduce myself and ask them questions.  It was horrifying for me.  I would beg my mom not to make me stay with her.  But my mom ignored my pleas and dropped me off everyday while she worked.  As painful as it was when I was, those exercises helped me in so many ways.  I had some of those same feelings this past week.  So while this is scary as hell, I know that the reward and growth is going to be worth it.

Bottom line, this industry is pushing me to improve in areas that I truly am not comfortable with.  Before, I was always able to avoid network situations or do the bare minimum to get by because it really didn’t matter.  Now however, it matters because it's my business. It's no longer good enough to simply get by.  I have to push myself to work thru